OK - for the update much needed Ill say that breastfeeding is going wonderfully and I cant imagine stopping anytime soon. I have a great pumping schedule down at work and I pump and eat oatmeal at the same time for the 15 minutes I am given. I get about 3-4oz out so I still have to supplement with 4oz of formula when I work 3-4x a week and thats ok. We dont give a bottle most nights either. Breastfeeding in public has become a non-issue and I just whip it out whenever is necessary. I have even gotten pretty good at carrying him and feeding him at the same time. The Hotsling and Moby Wrap works out pretty good for that.

Dexter is not sleeping - thats our biggest issue right now. The past three days hes been up every hour starting at 1230am. It sucks a whole bunch but it cant last forever Im sure.

Ok.. I just wanted to update.. Ill figure out how to post a picture -- I have one in my gmail from my phone with a picture of Dex in the BabyHawk that I got from Stephanie.

Jason and Zack are at Transformers...

*sniff* I am so totally jealous.

Ok - hes talking in his swing but not turning red and crying so I think I have a second.

Ive done really well today. Did a load of laundry, vaccuumed the rug in the livingroom and even exercised for about 30 minutes today. Ive been DVRing the All Star Workouts on the Fit channel and its awesome. They have different instructors and different types of workouts so you arent doing the same thing every day. Today I did the first half hour of two different ones so it was an hour but then with commercial breaks Im sure it was only 30-40 minutes. Still, I havent exercised in SUCH a long time I really felt every minute of it. I also ate really well and have drank 64oz of water so far. Im super impressed with myself today. Oh - went to Target and got a swing for Dex since this one is huge. I got the one that is marketed as a travel one and it folds down - perfect for our small space. Also got him some Little Tummies gas drops and a multivitamin. I talked to the peds office today about his fussiness that might be gas and told them too that I was still just breastfeeding. Last two nights no bottle! He hasnt had any formula since Friday night? Im thrilled.

Hes not happy now though so Im off :)

notes to self: search DVD recorders, start a she eats blog, check out uncommon threads website to refresh on making the shrug or cape.

My hotsling is magic. Dexter a few weeks ago looked absolutely cramped in it and I wasnt sure if it was a good fit or not. Well today I tried it again because my Moby Wrap is in the car and it worked like a CHARM. He was all wide eyed and stopped crying the minute I got him in it and then after I walked around a bit (got a cup of coffee, a banana, and put a load of laundry in!) he was asleep! Its been about an hour I guess? Im super impressed. Now though I have to wake him up to feed him before I go to my doctors appointment at 1230. Im taking him with me but leaving Zack with my MIL. I figure I can feed Dex even while Im getting my shot. I actually took him into my drs appoinment yesterday and fed him while I got my blood pressure taken and my iron checked and they weighed me.

SO breastfeeding is still going well. Part of me has to say that to make me believe it. Im not totally sure its normal that he eats as frequent as he does or that he needs me to hold him as much as I do but hes still so little I dont want to change anything out of his schedule. Same thing with sleeping - I am following his lead for another month or so.. I dont feel its time yet to impose a schedule upon him. Im reading that Baby 411 book like its the official word and I hate that but I do feel comfortable with what they say.

OK. Im off to read some of Alicias writings. Im sure Ill be fully impressed..

Little time to post since Dex has been in the swing since 1230 and its 215. Im sure hell be up soon. I wonder if its bad that I let him sleep in the swing? I tried to stop it the other day when I noticed he was sleeping and he screamed his little head off and I couldnt get him back in swing mode. We just got it last week from a coworker of Jasons and Dexter fought it the first few times we put him in. Even now he cries when he gets in and I have to hold the pacifier in his mouth while he swings for a few minutes to get him to accept that this is what we are doing. He then spits out the pacifier and is content.

I am way excited for this nap though. I did a load of laundry and kicked some major ass in our kitchen. I cleaned off the left side counters and the stove. I wiped these areas down. Wiped the front of the stove down and the front of two cupboards down. I also unloaded the dishwasher and loaded and ran it. I swept but it needs a good one and a mopping. I also cleaned the sink and wiped it down. Our kitchen still is a wreck but I put a great big dent in it :)

Last night was excellent. Jason surprised me with Little Marks Big Barbecue. It was our anniversary - three years - yesterday and Little Marks catered our wedding. He also brought home a bottle of Chianti dated 2004 and a bunch of purple flowers. Wonderful. Very thoughtful. We dont normally celebrate our anniversary and I didnt think we would do anything this year especially. It was very sweet of him and after what weve been through I was very grateful.

Breastfeeding is going well. Im tempted to put a limit of two months on it if it doesnt let up though. I plan on going back to work at the end of August so he needs to adjust to being out of my arms for at least 5 hours. I want to pump but I cant right now since hes eating so frequently. I want to breastfeed for at least a year but I didnt plan on it being so time consuming. I hate the idea of filling his tummy with the formula since he has such issues with digestion anyhow (between the gas and reflux while Im breastfeeding I can just imagine the pain hed be in if I did formula instead). Things might change though. My new goal is 8wks. I heard one woman that pretty much had my experience and said things turned around at 8 wks.

Ok - hes up! Im off!

No time to post really but just wanted to say that Ive now gained 8lbs in just over 3 weeks. I hopped on the scale and about died.

bloc party, NIN and Bjorks new CDs, Volatile Annies in brown or black cant decide. My mini want that list while I remember.

Ooh - and the reason why I started this is to also remind myself that on Jay Leno last night Tea (sp?) Leoni was on and showed off her tattoo that her and David Duchovny got for their 10th anniversary on their ring fingers and now I asked Jason to get them for ours. I dont know what we would get but I did offer to get his name on my finger. He loved the idea as hes been trying to get his name on my body for a while. Lets see if he will agree to get something too.

He even said hed let me get my chest piece if I get his name on my finger. *drool*

More BF talk when I can - its been a decent day but I feel terrible he slept all afternoon while I [finally] got out of the house and to Target to shop a little.

10:30am Dexter just popped off and I put him down so I think I have a minute. He had a wonderful morning so far - lots of awake time without screaming :) Im pleased. Last night I slept on the couch with Jason like usual but I grabbed Dex sometime in the night and never put him back. I gotta say waking up at 7 this morning was delicious. My right boob though - totally empty. Im sure he just nursed on and off all night instead of waking me.

Yesterday I nursed all day until 8pm where he managed to drink 2oz and then nurse again and then take another 2.5oz around 10pm. Crazy! Hes an eating machine. I guess thats about right for being a baby huh? They have a lot of growing to do.

ok - My mother is here and Dex just had a fit because I thought he was ok to lie down. Silly me huh?

post later.

9oz in a week -- Yay!

5/10 8.3
5/12 7.7
5/13 7.12
5/25 8.7
6/4 8.11
6/11 9.4

Yay :) Today we went for the weight check and Dex gained 9oz! Thats amazing. All weekend we breastfed and only supplemented with a bottle maybe 4-5 times. I know the last two days we went all the way until 8pm until giving him 2oz. I figure we will keep with what we are doing. Breastfeeding all day and hold off on a bottle for as long as we can. Give him a 3oz bottle after I feed him and he does that popping off and fussing thing he does.

Last night he was up till 1230 and slept till 430. I fed him till about 515 and put him down about 535. He got noisy again around 615 so I got up for good. So Im pretty tired today. I do like getting up early but 430 is still a bit early. I want to hold it off until 5-530. That would be nice. Especially since Im one to stay up late so midnight is no problem - I just need about 5-6 solid hours and a nap during the day.

Today after the doctors I went to Zacks school for Field Day. After that was over Dex and I took a 20 minute walk around the block on the way home. I live just across the street but I figured we were out with the stroller and he was behaving so I might as well use it to my advantage. Ive just lost only 12-13 lbs since having him and Im really disappointed by that. Ive been eating really well but I just havent been moving since I have him eating off of me non stop most days. Its paying off though so Im not so bothered by it. Id rather sit here and not lose weight and have him gain it than be busy running around the house or town still fatter than Id like and have him not gain weight. Hopefully we will space the feedings out more though.

I tried putting him on his tummy today since he loves to be on his stomach when you hold him to your chest. He holds his head up and pushes his chest up with his arms - hes so strong its amazing. But I put him tummy down today in the crib just to see if he would do the same thing and he screamed his little head off. He was pissed. I let him get mad enough that he pushed up and turned his head toward me. I figure we should start with the tummy time even if its not even a minute worth.

I used my hotsling on Saturday when we went to Babies R Us. It was so crazy busy in the parking lot I knew bringing him in the carriage or stroller would just contribute to the other million in there. It helped tremendously to carry him rather than push him. I also nursed in public for the first time. Granted it was at the chinese buffet and we were at a table away from people but still - I was pretty pleased with myself. I think its good to start off that way and build my confidence. I also picked up two more nursing tanks at Target so I can nurse from the hem as they say and not show my stomach. Ive been nursing from the neckline and that shows more boobage. I just need to do it more to get us comfortable doing it and not having to run to the car or even staying home as much as I have been.

I want this hand blender on qvc (my guilty pleasure to watch, never have bought anything from them). I plan on making my own baby food and we dont have a hand blender and I dont see that I would use our regular blender since I hate the bulk of the thing. I guess I can hold off on buying it but I cant forget that I want it.

remember this ctaci:
Item Number K6299
330 Watt Food Prep System w/Attachments by Rocco DiSpirito

Oh - last thing. Dex is a month old yesterday :) I cant believe it really. It seems like a month I guess. I look at him and hes still so little. Hes focusing a bit more on our faces -- especially Zacks. Zack and those big eyes always trumps me or my voice. I cant wait for him to really focus on us or even use his hands with purpose. Or smile -- I wonder when they start to smile for realsies. He makes tons of faces and some are accidental smiles that make me squeal outloud. Oh man hes so freaking adorable. Ill have to see if I can put a picture in here.

Got time?

Ok - I knew I put this here for a reason. Im not sure when Ill have time to type things out but Im sure some of it must be coming.

Dexter had a good night last night. I had made the bad decision to up the amount of formula *and* feedings we were giving him on Tuesday and Wednesday and we paid for it dearly. His stomach seemed to be unhappy and he was screaming pretty much all day Wednesday and wouldnt be let down for anything. Also his reflux seems to have gotten pretty bad. Wednesday was not a good day and led to a worse night - up all night screaming and me having had no naps even for a few days needed SOME sleep so Jason had gotten up with him lots which stressed him out. Lets just say on Thursday morning I had resolved to go back to my somewhat normal routine of nursing all day and supplementing just 2oz of formula at a time starting at 6pm or so. He did much better all day though he was attached to me for the entire thing. I felt better not putting that formula in his body and then last night was actually great. Up till 1230 or so and then up again just twice after that and up for the morning at 630. The big improvement is the amount of fussiness that came with the waking. Eating is quicker and putting him back to sleep is better. He also had two bowel movements. He went from BMs in every diaper to NO BMs at all all day Wednesday. He had two at night though. Big change though IMO from the BF BMs that he has been having to the icky thick greenish ones that the boost in formula produced. I hope to get him back on schedule but still see him gain weight come Monday. We just need to figure out what works I guess. Also address the reflux and stomach issues. The doctor said not to change his formula and recommended all the stuff we had read about -- sitting him up after he eats and eating more frequently and in smaller amounts for the reflux. They also told us to get some Baby Lax and we did but we didnt use it since he had the 2 BMs last night. Today hes eaten just twice and nibbled another time. Its 11am and we arent back to the regular BMs but Im hopeful.

I focus so much on his eating and BMs. DH really pushes the bottle feeding and Im in tears just thinking about it. Its been really an emotional thing for me to give into the bottle and the more we do it the more unhappy Dex is and the more unhappy I am. I just really hope we can work this breastfeeding thing out.

Ok - Dex is stirring. Ill go find us both some food as I have yet to eat anything today and thats not good. Im still in the stage of when I get a free minute I have to choose from eating, sleeping, getting on here, showering, changing my clothes - something. I havent had any time away from him yet and I dont plan on it either. I just need a better schedule. Hes a month old this Sunday and it still feels like the first two weeks. I guess thats okay though - it doesnt always go the way the books tell you.

I should be back later today to update with feedings and any stresses I might run into.

2pm update:

Fed again twice since my post. Once was half heartedly though. Dex is actually fixing a fit right now so to make this quick I wanted to jot down his weights up till now.

5/10 8.3
5/12 7.7
5/13 7.12
5/25 8.7
6/4 8.11


Note to self: open new blog to rant about my mother; find more hours in the day

gotta put it somewhere I suppose.

I guess I need somewhere to put down things I say. Im trying to get together a knitting/crafting blog but to be honest with you Im not sure how this all works.

I dont feel very organized with my thought right now. Im very stressed out having Zack home for the day. It was great for the first hour feeling so productive but hes really out of control and not focusing and I cant take it anymore.

I cleaned out the bookshelf today. I wanted to wash the floor.

once, twice, three times a penis. We cant be wrong right? It better be a boy. They just dont understand.